Run ... IF you can.

There are no mistakes, only lessons.

You think you made a "mistake" as a parent? Forgive yourself and become a better one.

A "mistake" as a spouse, friend, employee...person?  Who hasn't? Learn from that LESSON, FORGIVE yourself and MOVE on.

Do not let the shackles of your past hold you back from the brilliant future you have ahead of you.  BREAK LOOSE.

There is a version of you that exists in the future - the one you wish to become.  Every step you take from this moment forward is a step towards or away from that person.

Take small steps if you have to - RUN if you can... but make sure each STEP, each ACTION, each THOUGHT is towards the version you most want to become.

The Karma of Inspiration

There is a reason I have not written recently. It is hard to find the motivation to inspire others when inspiration is amiss within ourselves.

This isn't me - I am not one who sleeps in until her body can't lay any longer. I am not one who sulks and dreads each passing day hoping for something better. And yet, for last 6 weeks, that was who I was.

Last week my mother came back from India, and with her she brought the best present one could give: a book full of notes and pictures from my relatives. In that book was the following entry from my younger cousin:

"...I mentioned earlier that she saved my life. I'm going to tell you how she did that. In 2005, when [she] came to India, I was in my mid-teens. As a teenager, I was depressed and lonely. But she introduced me to books like Captivating and Robin Sharma's self-help books. She taught me how to look at life in a positive way. Her positive outlook and zeal towards life changed my perceptions completely. She helped me find myself and taught me ow to believe in myself. I discovered myself and my true potential. My confidence level soared. I became a much happier person. I'll never forget all which you've done for me. You inspire me"

Inspiration seems to be much like Karma, the more you give it out the more it comes back to you. The realization that I helped change the life of ONE person, especially a person I love dearly, is all I needed to get back on my feet.

Your inspiration is lurking somewhere as well - find it.

Never Pack a Full Suitcase

As a consultant, packing efficiently is essential.  How many times have you found yourself with baggage full to the brim mostly of items you hardly use?  Though you hardly use these items you are attached to them and thus have no room for new items you seek to bring back with you.

We were all given a "suitcase" at birth.  Within this piece of luggage are various tools we have either picked up along the way or have received from others.  Some these tools are invaluable and top notch;  while others are old, broken or unnecessary.

Though each of us would like to go around and collect as many tools as we can, our suitcase can only hold so much.   In order to pick up new tools we must make room and throw out the junk which we don't need.

At times, this so called "junk" is hard to throw out - we become attached to it and convince ourselves that we cannot live without it.  The junk may be a bad habit, negative thoughts or fear from a hurtful relationship. What ever this "junk" may be, we must first recognize it, evaluate it and then discard it to make room for more valuable items.

Keep in mind, some of this junk is extremely hard to remove.  It has been in our suitcase for years and has become stuck. The good news is that we CAN remove and dispose of anything.  Attachment is fear based - realize that.  It may take a lot of tugging, prying and help from others; but, with effort, we can relieve ourselves from the burden and weight of that which we do not need and leave room for that which will enrich our lives and help us strive towards more fulfilling experiences.

In short: pack lightly so that you have room for what you gain through your adventures. [And for the love of cheese, don't ever pack your new Tiger Claw Ninja Stars in your carry-on bag.]

Lila, Nina Inspired.

Kaepernick VS Owens

I have wondered in the past why it is that sometimes the best assets to team or company is cut.  But what determines the quality of a player or employee?  Is it someone who is the best at what he does or is it someone who is best at doing what he is required to do?  

Terrell Owens is a six-time Pro Bowl selection and holds multitudes of NFL records in receiving categories.  Yet, he is currently a free agent.  

Colin Kaepernick is a decade and a half younger than Owens and, although a 2nd year player, was the starting quarterback for the 49ner's last night during the "blackout" NFL Super Bowl.  

There are many differences between these players - some may say I am comparing an apple to an orange.  Yet, in the corporate world you need all-stars of all positions, experience and talent.  What must remain the same, however, is the underlying attitude and vision.  

In football, most of the time the calls are made on the side lines.   A good quarterback, such as Peyton Manning, can decide to call an audible based on what he sees on the field. Once the quarterback makes a call, all 11 players either side of the ball have to be the same page with the play that is running.   If they are not, the play is compromised.    

No matter how good you are or what you think you know, alone, you can never win a game when multiple players and rules are involved.  You must play as a team.  You must obey the directions that the field general gives you.   Just as there is trust between a good quarterback and the offensive coordinator, there must be trust between the quarterback and the players he directs. 

As talented as Owens had been, he had also created firestorms with virtually every team he has played for.  He has compromised multiple plays, received costly penalties and disrespected his team members.  Is it any wonder that he was cut? 

A chain of command exists for a reason.  Recommendations can be made and are hopefully taken into consideration.  Beyond that, for the sake of the team, one must always consider his or her actions and how it will affect "the game."  

Lila, Nina Inspired. 

The Price of Mystery

People are both fascinated and fearful of that which they do not understand.

I want to be a mystery.  I want to be intriguing - but I must pay the price because if so, I will never be truly known.  

Therefore, people will not understand me and will either gravitate towards me if they are intrigued, or fight against me if they are afraid. 

I  have learned this rather quickly as a consultant.  The unique aspect of my job is that I am constantly thrown into situations where I have no alliances.   Countless times I find myself in rooms with souls I have never met.  My survival in these situations depend on my ability to "thin-slice" and adapt.  

I try to observe more and participate less - but paradoxically in order to observe I must participate.  If I do not participate at all I am told that others think I am "to vain" to join in their gossiping festivities. If I participate too much, I am seen as a threat by the Alpha's of the group - and needless to say - that is never a good thing. 

I must learn to balance the urge to forge connections with the urge to be independent and detached. It hurts me that the people I admire and love may never know me as the multidimensional person that I am.  

Lila, Nina Inspired.

Why?

Nina, 

I am writing to you right now with a tear in my eye knowing that only you and a few others would understand.  

When I was young, I forget how old (I know I was older than 6 because I am 5 years older than my younger brother) my father blamed me for the death of my sister. I know now, that it was never my fault. He said that I was a disappointment to the Gods and to him. The Gods were sparing him the anguish of having another abomination - another waste. I spent much of my life trying to prove to myself and others that I am worthy.  

I don't know exactly what caused my sister's death. They say a baby's higher level functioning develops in the third trimester. My mother had a large lump before she knew something was wrong.  My sister was stillborn, from what I was told later was that there was no brain (or rather most of it was missing) as there was nothing above the eyes - just flat.  

There is a tradition in my extended family that every child is named after the same letter as the first in the generation. I was the first in mine and so all the children in my generation were to be named with letter "L." Her name would have been Lila. There is much meaning behind that name in Hinduism. The concept has been seen to signify freedom as distinguished from necessity. 

I decided today - that I definitely want to help you. Perhaps I shall profit from it, perhaps I will not. I wonder if it is Lila within me that seeks love and the freedom to love who I am. She was after all all heart and no brain. 

I would like to write with pen name Lila. I would rather no one ever know my name. If anyone asks, they can read this.  You have my full support, and hopefully my family's as well. 

Lila, Nina Inspired.