The Price of Mystery

People are both fascinated and fearful of that which they do not understand.

I want to be a mystery.  I want to be intriguing - but I must pay the price because if so, I will never be truly known.  

Therefore, people will not understand me and will either gravitate towards me if they are intrigued, or fight against me if they are afraid. 

I  have learned this rather quickly as a consultant.  The unique aspect of my job is that I am constantly thrown into situations where I have no alliances.   Countless times I find myself in rooms with souls I have never met.  My survival in these situations depend on my ability to "thin-slice" and adapt.  

I try to observe more and participate less - but paradoxically in order to observe I must participate.  If I do not participate at all I am told that others think I am "to vain" to join in their gossiping festivities. If I participate too much, I am seen as a threat by the Alpha's of the group - and needless to say - that is never a good thing. 

I must learn to balance the urge to forge connections with the urge to be independent and detached. It hurts me that the people I admire and love may never know me as the multidimensional person that I am.  

Lila, Nina Inspired.